The Limo-D, as Denver calls it, comes to whisk us away...

Tuesday, Greg arrives from Malaysia, us from Illinois

Hang out time...

Best view for the Houston Thanksgiving Parade

Chris, Hayden, Maya and Denver enjoy the pool...

The Chefs, Tommy, Ashley and the trusty assistant, Kristin

Reece and Grandma

Family Photo just before flight time

A Gritty Thanksgiving...

Writing from Houston, Texas at Greg and Cheryl's house, the day after Thanksgiving. This is a tranquil few moments considering there are 16 of us basically living in one house, though the next door neighbors have loaned us their house for extra sleeping quarters while they are gone for the holiday.

This Thanksgiving is so hard and yet so wonderful that we got the opportunity to gather as a family. We know we have much to be thankful for: love for each other, new little grandson Reece, the finances to even be able to make this trip. Lost luggage did not even deter our spirit to enjoy ourselves. After a Mexican lunch Wednesday, all the females had a competition at Ross Dress for Less as to who could get the best bargain, complete outfit or most turkey-like outfit for $20. The feast of fabulous food created by Tommy, showing all his chef proweress and Ashley as his amazing assistant, was too fabulous. Really, acorn squash soup garnished with maple flavored sour cream! Two kinds of stuffings, heavenly green mashed potatoes flavored with chives, parsley, garlic saturated oil, more and more...We went to downtown Houston in the morning to see the Thanksgiving Day parade with crazy bands, floats, and Santa! All of us traipsing through the throngs to find the perfect spot for viewing, Grandpa Pete buying the little grandkids blow up Sponge Bob, Dora and Spider Man and a sword for Denver. What was he thinking?

Last night was finally peaceful when the little ones went to sleep and we took advantage of the pool and hot tub. Quiet conversations, laughter, tears. The hardest part of all yesterday was Greg beginning the grace before we ate. He asked Chris to end because he knew he would not be able to and he couldn't. He started by acknowledging God as the giver of all things and we came into this Thanksgiving gritting our teeth. Not having Laurie with us leaves a big gaping hole. Tears were falling, all were quiet, and Chris ended by thanking God again for each other, for all we have and for having had Laurie as our sister, aunt, daughter for the 20 years we did.

Was it only last Thanksgiving at Chris and Christa's where Laurie really introduced us all to Scott? So much has changed since that fun day! So much.

National Suicide Survivors Day

Saturday is National Suicide Survivors Day. Never even knew there was such a thing last year...

Tomorrow at 11:00 AM I will be listening to a live web broadcast sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention that I trust will be informative, supportive and healing. Another step in my process to try to understand Laurie's choice. If anyone else is interested in viewing this, you can register at www.afsp.org . Following the broadcast there will be a live online chat.

Man, what a lousy way to spend a Saturday!

A happy song...

New Community tonight held some unexpected surprises. The first was what I found in the Prayer Request section of the Willow Weekly. One of the guys in our old small group, a man we love, has cancer. He needs prayer; tomorrow he will be having tests to determine if the cancer has spread. Lord, we put that in your mighty hands.

The most amazing thing tonight was the dad of Laurie's great Starbucks friend was baptized! I so clearly remember Laurie telling me how much she thought of her friend's mom and dad. She had said many time, "Mom, you and Pete would love her parents. You guys should get together." And she told me more of their story, some of it very hard. Laurie said that she was praying for all of them. She hoped so much that someday Christ would be the center of their lives. Laurie and I really knew God had big plans that would happen when we found out that our new teaching pastor, Mike Breau, bought the house right next door to this family. Mike Breau is the same pastor who's sermon on making ripples totally confirmed La's decision to be a missionary. If I remember right, Scott, Laurie's fiancee, was hired to put up the Christmas lights for the Breaus. God is so amazing in making all these divine arrangements.

Laurie's friend has had a really tough season both before Laurie's death and since but she is coming through it. She and I have met a few times in the last months and I have met with her mom. Both are awesome women and I know why Laurie loved them so much. Tonight I had this clear sense of celebration in heaven. After the service I found this couple and we hugged and got teary and confirmed the feeling that Laurie had a place in starting this journey for them. God, thank you so much for this great joy.

And NC ended with worship, The Happy Song. One of our pastors actually playing a banjo and Mike Breau playing a jug. Some of the lyrics are:

Well I could sing unending songs
Of how you saved my soul
& I could dance a thousand miles
Because of your great love

C'mon everybody dance
Everybody dance

My heart is bursting Lord
To tell of all you've done
Of how've you changed my life
And wiped away the past
Well, I want to shout it out
From every roof top sing
For now I know
That God is for me, not against me

A happy song...

March of the Penguins

With Pete still out of town, caught up on sleep (In a 44 hour perios I slept 3 hours due to my own crazy schedule: airport delivery, PADS serving night, babysitting the sweet grandsons, etc.) and having accomplished most of the chores I had set for myself, I treated myself to a movie.

I have never gone to a movie by myself before, ever. Just standing in the ticket line, I felt like should be looking for Pete to run up after parking the car. Bought my popcorn and found a seat in the fairly crowded $2 theater. Smiled to myself, thinking it strange that the popcorm cost more than the admission!

I chose March of the Penguins because honestly, I doubt if Pete would ever want to go see it. What an amazing story with the most beautiful photography. I found myself mesmerized by the narration of Morgan Freeman describing a year in the life of Empire penguins. These Charlie Chaplin waddling birds make a 70 mile trek to the spot they were born to begin the process of finding a mate. 70 miles! On those short little legs, sometimes flopping on their bellies and sledding a distance. Once they find their intended and the female lays the egg, the really tough part begins. Their egg, their precious chick-to-be, is transferred to the male who holds the egg on the top of his feet and under a feathery flap of penguin skin for four months while the female goes back the same 70 mile route to the sea. Her mission is to eat enough to sustain herself and the chick when she returns to her mate. She makes the trip back (that's now 210 miles!) where the poor male has lost almost half his body weight, standing in a giant huddle of male penguins protecting their eggs. The mates find each other, he introduces their chick to mom and now he leaves to go back to the sea to nourish himself. This process has gone on for hundreds of years. The cold and winds of the South Pole, the natural enemies ready to pounce, lack of food, these beautiful birds stop at nothing to recreate and nurture thier young.

Did I just take this all in as a great National Geographic piece of cinema? No, I thought of being a parent and the willingness to overcome anything to bring a child into the world and protect that child against everything possible. Do I think the old gentleman next to me noticed my tears? No, I think he had tears in his own eyes. We all have our stories...

LaurieBoncimino.com

How strange this is to me yet. How weird that Laurie has a website...

This morning Pete and I got up at 4:45 AM to get Pete to the airport by 6:00 for an early flight to Minnesota where he will be working at a craft fair this weekend. It made better sense to just go into the office just minutes away than go back home.

Sitting at my desk and seeing the sunrise was calming and I have already gotten a lot done with no phones ringing. In fact, I had some time to check blogs and then I had a need to go look at the website (www.laurieboncimino.com) created when Laurie first went missing. Now this same site is a memory book and a suicide prevention resource. I had a chance to look at the video montage of Laurie shown at the service again, hear parts from the funeral, smile at the new addition Greg has made to the heading, pink hearts and a beautiful script. The montage of Laurie and the collection of her thoughts and words of encouragement set to stirring music moves me to tears, again...And I see that these have been viewed over 10,000 times. That number is a silent tribute to her, I think.

Again, I am reminded how much I miss her, how much our family misses her, how much her friends miss her, how much the world lost without her here...but how wonderful that she is dancing with angels...

Sleepless in Buffalo Grove...

I have been tossing and turning for an hour and just cannot go to sleep. I am not sure what this is all about; all I know is that my mind is going like crazy. Will blogging be my cure for tonight's insomnia?

The message at church today was about slowing down, refocus, simply love God and love people. Mike Breau talked about putting his head down on the pillow at night and drifting off into deep sleep. I have had no problem sleeping at all for months, in fact, I often said that I knew many people were praying for me because I had really never felt so well or slept so soundly. And now tonight I can not sleep.

The fact is I know many are still praying; I'm still praying. So God, I am open to what you are trying to speak into me. Open my ears. Open my heart.

20 Random Things about Me...

So Greg tagged me and I am thinking about random stuff. Probably a good thing to do occasionally. Here goes:

1. I was Editor-in-Chief of my highschool yearbook my senior year. My sister JoAnne was also EIC her senior year.

2. My parents totally over-indulged their darling daughters at Christmas when we were little. There was always a mountain of toys. I still remember the year Lin and I got the newest doll, Barbie in 1957 and a boatload of her clothes.

3. I have always loved to sew. I made my first wedding gown, a business suit for Denny that he actually wore to work a lot. And I am published in a quilt book. Fabrics are intriguing to me.

4. I have been selling electronic components for over 20 years now and I still do not know Ohm's Law. Take that, Greg.

5. I love relationships but there were many years I thought of myself as shy. Boy, has that changed! And it is my habit to call most people I know my friend, not an acquaintance. I am blessed to have many wonderful friends.

6. Like Katie, I once TP'd a house. However, I did it as an adult and never fessed up to it. Nor did I get caught by the police!

7. My kids will love this one: My sophomore year in high school I was the champion female shot putter. Now isn't that just too feminine for words?

8. Broke my arm roller skating at a roller rink in MI when I was about 10. Broke my collarbone while riding on the Northbrook Bike Racing Track when I was 16. Broke my thumb skiing in WI when I was 35. Not the most athletic chick am I?

9. My all time favorite movie is the old Romeo and Juliet by Franco Zefferelli. I love how beautiful it is.

10. I like to pretend the Beach Boys song, "Barbara Ann" was written for me.

11. Other than the births of my kids, the most moving day I have ever experienced was in South Africa in the squatters camp called Zandspruit. A place meant for 350 families, actually was home for 25000 people. Although the conditions were abject squalor, the kids there were unbelievably joyful and charming. I look forward to going back again some day and spend quality time and make a difference there somehow.

12. The grossest job I ever had was a motel maid at Arlington Motel on Northwest Highway. Yuck! Second grossest job was fitting shoes on women at Rothschild's in Randhurst.

13. Doing a 3000' sky dive with son Chris 17 years ago was cool. Doing a tandem sky dive from 13500' with Laurie on her 18th birthday was super cool. Now look forward to another someday with Katie and granddaughter Ashley.

14. My senior year of high school I took some home economic courses since I was engaged to be married. I entered the cherry pie contest in foods class and won for the school and then went to the regional and got blown out at state.

15. Babbles is my clown name. When Pete and I started dating I loved the weirdness of clowning and Pete helped me become a full fledged clown. Won 2nd place in make-up competition at my first Midwest Clown Convention.

16. I believe am the unofficial Accessories Queen. I love and have far too much in the way of jewelry, shoes, purses, scarves. I am looking for the appropriate 12 step program for help.

17. In 2001 I literally drove cross country. I flew to Oregon where Katie and Tommy had lived while he went to Culinary Arts school. We drove them, 2 kids, 2 cats and all their stuff back to IL. Then a few weeks later the whole family drove two gi-normous RVs to West Virginia for a rafting trip. Lots of miles, lots of laughs, lots of memories.

18. I have gone to Willow Creek for over twenty years and served in many ministries. PADS, our homeless ministry and WCA is where I mostly serve now. I love WCA Summit because for the last four years we have gone to four different cities and made wonderful friends in each new place.

19. Being married to Pete is a delight. I am married to a very shizophrenic guy. He is a clown, a stiltwalker who's characters include a toy soldier, Elvis, a leprechaun, a scarecrow, Frankenstein. He's a DJ, a magician, juggler. AND he has brought me flowers almost every week since we were first married...16 years now. That is a lot of flowers!

20. I really love to laugh. Thank goodness for laughter.

Read Greg's Blog

I am so glad Greg blogged about Kyle Lake, the young pastor from Waco, TX. I have been reading about Kyle and his ministry. I know a little of Emergent through Drew. I know how Satan would like to think he has had his way. But again he has not.

What the evil one thinks he can use to bring believers down, only serves to make us run to God's arms. I know that to be true. I think back to Lin's death, ironically, also by accidental electrocution. Who do you rage at? Like someone said in a blog about Kyle, do you curse Ben Franklin for inventing the concept of electricity? No, I remember again that each day of ours has been written in His book...the day we come to life here on earth and the day we leave. It is the chance to again remember to cherish each moment, each person we love. To love in new ways, to live to the fullest. To run to Him for refuge.

Lin, Laurie, Kyle, their unspoken words will live on for generations to come. They are dancing with angels and heaven fills their eyes...