It's been a month...

I know, I know, yesterday was the 2nd. It's been a month. It seems impossible. It still seems like she is going to pop in the front door, yelling, "Hey, mom, I'm home."

Friday night, the 1st, was sweet, sort of. Pete and I went out for dinner with Eve, Drew and Katie. (Thank you Sarah for watching Katie's kids.) We could share and laugh and be goofy. (Can you say "uterus"?) but then back at the house, Eve and I reading, talking, trying to make some sense of it all. Not possible. Later, after Eve left and Katie and Drew had come back to describe their time down at Lake Michigan, I thought I was going to bed. But I was drawn to go into her bedroom...to spend some time in there praying, crying, looking at pictures from when she was in Mexico. Man, this hurts! It's after midnight. And then the front door pops open...for a minute I am thinking, what is going on? Kristin's in Colorado. Not Laurie...but instead, it is beautiful Katie returning the portable crib I will need for Hayden in the morning. She sees, she knows, what I have been doing and we cry some more in each other's arms. It is the 2nd. It's been a month...