The Letter

I feel compelled to read and reread Laurie's letter left for us. Though most is too intensely painful to share with the masses, I know there is keen interest in what she wrote. What did she say, what was she feeling?

The first several pages were actually written earlier, Feb. 10th to Scott telling him of how and why she loved him and how she wanted the world to know that their love was strong and unique. The next pages are a deep analysis of what she had always thought was "right"...how she took her beliefs very seriously but doubts were creeping in. Expectations, frustrations with a world that separated people from each other rather than drawing them closer. Life being one big game and it all goes back in the box.

And then this in her distinctive hand," WHAT DOES LAURIE NEED TO DO TO BE HAPPY?"
She answers herself with "to find something that she is passionate about...and run towards that something with all of her strength. Those things: * People * Loving people * Studying people *Watching people *Offering a glimmer of hope to the hopeless" She writes that the things attractive to her are unconditional love, serving others, acceptance, faithfulness, honesty.

And then the black parts...she is sorry, she is sorry, the pain, no way out, her pride, "I can not handle the stresses of this world...its not made for me." Oh, Laurie. If only you had known...this world wanted nothing more than to cradle you and love you for who you are.

My prayer right now, right this minute? That all those things you found attractive, Laurie, would be the heartbeat of all of us. To unconditionally love each other, accept each other wherever we are at, to be honest and faithful, to serve others in any way we can. That we would do this to honor you but more, to honor the God we love.