Mental, Dental Day

I had appointments this morning with my counselor and my dentist...neither one of which I really wanted to go to. With my counselor, I did not even know how to describe what I am feeling lately...I know I am okay; I know that looking to Him gives me strength. I just am beyond analyzing it all. Situations with family and friends that need prayer and wisdom are draining. Missing Laurie is right around every corner. Glenn pushed me today to really look at the grief process in terms of my mom and dad and sister Lin. Geesch, do I have to?

And the dentist and his sweet hygienist, Ellen. The last time I was there was February 25th, just a week before Laurie went missing. We had talked about Laurie's engagement that day, how wonderful she was doing in so many areas of her life. It is stunning to realize how much had changed since that conversation and quite honestly, I did not want to have to talk about how I was doing with all this. However, my nature is such that you make an appointment, keep it unless something really horrible has happened. Guess I could have backed out based on that. This is really horrible...

And I walked out of there annoyed with myself that I did not even ask them to make a contribution to the Overnight walk in July. Crumb, I've invested thousands of dollars there over the years; you think I could have been gutsy enough to at least ask. Maybe they read this blog? So on I will march today, well, really more like a crawl. I think it's time to go find some solitude and recalibrate my heart, again.