Hope, It has a certain ring to it...

Short night, maybe four hours of sleep. I had spent a lot of time going over Laurie's sent and received emails from the last two months or so. Some of what I saw there profoundly saddened me and angered Pete and Katie. Some judgemental emails she had received from "friends", an email she had sent to a relative, excited about her engagement and trying to re-establish some contact with no responding email back to her. How sad.

But then there were several emails back and forth to Harper students, making plans for the next issue of the Challenger. Her encouragement to make sure "Dal" was invited to an upcoming meeting. Her ongoing excitement about her classes; emails back and forth to her two aunts, encouraging one and establishing with the other her wish to have her be her wedding co-ordinator when the time eventually came. Her declaration about how fun Medieval Times had been to go with the whole family (22 of us!). Remembered how sweet it was when the winning knight had actually thrown his rose to HER! (Of course, it was fixed. A "squire" who frequents her Starbucks arranged it.) Reading her future plans made me sad, again. There is no clue in any of them about how deeply she was hurting. Maybe the lack of emails that should have been there spoke to me.

So where does the hope come in? As I was in despair and thinking what could have been done to help her, I glanced at my right hand. I always wear two small band rings. One is very narrow, two bands of gold and silver twisted together. The other is engraved all the way around with the little Christian fish symbol. But now there is a third ring. At the never ending wake that Thursday, someone, I still do not know who, pressed something into my hand and said to look at it later. Whatever the tissue wrapped object was, I stuck it in Pete's suitcoat pocket. Later, I retrieved the little package and unwrapped a beautiful narrow sterling silver ring. Engraved all the way around it was the word "HOPE".

Hope*Hope*Hope*Hope*Hope*Hope*Hope*Hope.... I have hope. I have hope that tomorrow will be a little better. I have hope that the world is not the savage, selfish place Laurie, with her hope for unconditional love for all, was feeling. I have hope that the same God I have leaned on so many times before, will continue to be our comfort. I have hope.