Fee ater Night
It's Saturday morning, two weeks after we knew Laurie was gone from this earth. Katie and the kids have just pulled out of the driveway (in their new 2003 Taurus. God is good to provide.) and the house is quiet following "fee ater night" as Denver calls it. Yesterday they came over and we had a pajama party. Sleeping bags and pillows in the living room, watched "The Incredibles". Well, they did; I layed there for a little while and then was drawn back to emails, blogs...thank you again for them. All of you. Eve especially.
Katie, Katie, Katie. My heart breaks again knowing how much she hurts yet has to keep doing all the day to day of caring for three kids and some how doing school to become a nurse: my dream. She and I share some new oddities: We have both lost a sister; We have both "lost" a daughter. As she would say."What's up with that?" Stinks, doesn't it? Hurts, doesn't it? Rages, doesn't it?
Time to go shower. I am going to meet an old friend, Bonnie Banning, for coffee. Bonnie was my small group leader seven years ago at the Grief Support Group when Lin died. Amazing how five minutes after we knew exactly how Laurie died, Bonnie's face flashed in my mind's eye. I remember back then thinking how weird it was that the leader for our group was not one who had also lost a sibling like the rest of us, but one who had a daughter that had committed suicide. God prepared her for me way back then. How does He ever do that?
posted by Barb K @ 11:55 AM
3 Comments:
Mom, you see my heart. As desperate and achy as it is, you see it and I am so glad. Plain as day, hit the nail on the head, you see my heart exactly as it is. I love you.
Katie
Barb, Know that your posts make me cry and grow in my admiration for you... and that Mark and I are praying for you & the whole fam. Thank you, thank you for sharing.
Also, I will have to tell you more about it later (I have class in the morning) but today Laurie & you all were a part of my life twice!
I shared about Laurie in my Grad School Counseling Class. I was doing my part of a group presentation and I shared a little with the class... her story is so widely known... started a lot of new conversations... anyhow- I also have something for you from that presentation...
Then later I was at what is basically a "prom" for grad school... and in the whole place I ended up sitting next to a 19 year old girl (a friend had brought her daughter.) She was talking about how she had been getting interested in God lately and had gotten a Bible for her birthday... As we talked around the table (same people from my class that day)... Laurie's story came up again... I asked the 19 yr. old if she knew what we story we were talking about. She says she does: she is actually a Harper student and she told me about how she and her mom had looked at Laurie's website together. I could have sat anywhere in two rooms full of hundreds of people... wouldn't you know that He had me sit there...
It gave me chills (those Holy Spirit kind of ones) to see all that in the course of 10 hours. Amazing. Press on Barb! Sorry to write so much in comments - I always think it is rude for people to do this! :)
i don't think it's rude jackie.
anyway, i just got it. theater night! i sounded like my daughter trying to sound out the letters to make a word.
thanks for the laugh!
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