Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Symphony, harmony, testimony...

This morning on the way to work, I noted the temperature as I have for the last several days; I remembered the temperature THAT day, 27 degrees. I have noted the sunset; her note said she waited til the sun went down. All the haunting, memories I need to keep processing. And these few days before the second anniversary, somehow God brings harmony out of that. I switched the radio channel to hear " I wish you were here" and see a black Jeep. The song ( I need to figure out the title and artist) is from the perspective of a believer already gone, now walking streets of gold and someday the listener would join in the wonder. With a lump in my throat and stinging in my eyes, I next hear "You are my strong tower" and another black Jeep. And then, MercyMe singing "Homesick" and another black Jeep . I don't understand Your ways but I believe.

Today God created a little symphony for me. I know the next few days will be hard. Pete and I are going to spend March 2nd, celebrating with our friends in Kalamazoo MI (See blogs from September 17 and 22, 2006). Their daughter Nikki died just five months ago tragically with her fiancee. Nikki is going to have the art show she always dreamed of and we are going to be part of that. Ironic, coincident, God, that the date is March 2nd. Four parents acknowledging together how lucky we were to have had our girls...

I am trusting that we will be "Held" though this anniversary. (Thank you, Jammie, for the beautiful picture!) Katie, here with the twins and the Michel kids, will be supported by good friends, here at the house. And this might be a good place to say that I am proud of the measures Katie continues to make to build her life. One year ago, she was in a bad place, almost the worst I could imagine, but she is working hard to rebuild her life. Our communication is solid, the twins, a joy to have here and the Michel kids are a bright light to all of us. God knows the story; I pray for those who have been so hurt in this chapter that God heals their hearts without crushing hers.

Where would we all be if Laurie were alive today? I don't know. For me, I could hug and encourage her in her dreams. Laurie would have met nephews, Reece and Rylan, and niece, Kylie Laura. We would laugh and weep together. Her testimony, her words "The greatest thing I have is the promise that Jesus was born and that He died for my sins so that I can one day join Him in heaven." is enough to carry me.

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17 Comments:

Blogger Jackie R. said...

Barb,
You always have such wonderful stories and amazing testimonies... Many down here in Colorado are praying for you all this week - me and Shelly of course but also some of my church family. How wonderful that you will be with people that can fully understand as many of us can't... the loss of a beautiful daughter. Mark and I love you & Pete and the rest of the family tons!

March 01, 2007 2:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Barb, I pray for all of you at this time. I still can't believe she is in heaven. Too soon. I too love those songs. I thought of Laurie when I heard them. Wow. Time flies, yet stands still. I love you sister...Gail

March 01, 2007 7:42 AM  
Blogger NicaGirl said...

Dear Barb,
I am still praying hard for your family this week and always.
"Wish You Were Here" is sung by Mark Harris. I love that song too!

Love in Him,
Meg

March 01, 2007 8:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i don't know if this is the same song or not, but kenny chesney sings a song called "who you'd be today" it brings up a lot of emotion in me. you should check it out. here are the lyrics:

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the pain that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder, what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday

March 01, 2007 12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Barb, I am thinking and praying for all of you at this time. I cannot believe that it has been two years...I have followed your blog from the minute I heard about Laurie in the BG Countryside. The strength of your family is something to be truly admired.

Jenna from B.G.

March 01, 2007 9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

prayers and hugs going out to you at this hard hard time (and always) xoxoxox
Jackie :)

March 01, 2007 10:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you.
Loving you lots,
Shelly

March 01, 2007 10:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

theres also another song ...

"i wish you were here" by incubus

great song ... praying and thinking about youre family all day today

youre in Gods hands!

March 02, 2007 12:13 AM  
Blogger riniroo said...

Prayers and strength to your family.

March 02, 2007 12:27 AM  
Blogger pdimontova@yahoo.com said...

Hi Barb:

My prayers are with you always, but especially today. God Bless you and all your family with Many, Many Blessings.

Love You,

Pat Di

March 02, 2007 6:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you at this hard time.

How is Scott these days? Do you still keep in touch with him?

March 02, 2007 1:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Barb, Pete and family....

Just a note to say that we are praying for you and yours today. Have been thinking about you a lot this past week and asked the Lord to give you peace as you again face another year without her.

Have been with Annie this week and enjoying yet another gift from the Lord...our little Grayson. Thank you so much for the congratulatory card. That was very thoughtful of you and Pete.

You are loved and prayed for.

In His Love,

The Goodmillers

March 02, 2007 3:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Barb,
It was good to have dinner with you and Pete, Katie & the twins. Today is a hard day for many and know that we are praying for strength and comfort for you and your family. Laurie was such a great kid and anyone who knew her loved her and misses her. I know I do. I hope you have a great weekend with your friends and maybe we can see each other before I return to Colorado. Love, Diane

March 02, 2007 3:40 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

Barb~ My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family today.

March 02, 2007 4:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

20 yrs. ago Amy Grant sang a beautiful song:

"In a little while we'll be with the Father, can't you see Him smile?

In a little while we'll be home forever, in a while.

We're just here to learn to love Him. We'll be home in just a little while."

She's truly home sweet Barb.

Surrounding and encompassing your longing heart with love and prayers.

Debbi D.

March 02, 2007 5:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My prayers are with you and your family

March 02, 2007 5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you~~

Kim

March 02, 2007 11:09 PM  

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