And so, what?
Here I am, Saturday night late. Abby babysat Hayden and Reece so I could go to a wedding. I really am not good at weddings yet. I drink too much, blinding the reality that I will never help plan Laurie's wedding. That is something I looked so forward to...her wedding. I go to the ceremony, thinking I wll be okay at this one...not so much. Again, I picture her, so beautiful, so radiant.
Instead, I go back to the journals I have been reading. Her time in Mexico was blessed. She loved it there. If she had stayed, would things have been different? I don't know. All I know is that page after page of those journals from Querretaro let me know that was one of the happiest times of her life. Times where she knew, with no doubt, God was using her. I am so glad I have these records to refresh me; to remind me; to let me know my daughter, Laura Boncimino, was an amazing young woman who loved God with all her heart. I mourn.
posted by Barb K @ 12:25 AM
1 Comments:
Barb -
Ive never written to you before and I dont know that Ill ever write again (i tend to hide in the shadows). You dont know me, but ive been keeping up on your lives. Your situation with Laurie happened around the one year anniversary of my father's death. I started reading then, and ive read ever since, because in a way, the shock of a death unexpected resonates in me. Im 22 years old, and my father was 49. I always expected that my dad would walk me down the aisle, as most girls do. Every wedding I go to Barb, I get ... upset. Jealous. Angry. I have been to at least 4 or 5 weddings in the 1.5 yrs since he died, and it hasnt gotten any easier to see that moment that the dad gives his daughter away, or the daughters dance with dad at the reception. Its always hard.
Tonight, I came to check on your blog as you were writing this entry... I would come back and hit refresh every couple of seconds to see if you finished yet. When you finally did, I see how much I relate to what you write. I dont offer much encouragement besides this (which is something im sure you've heard): I remember the story of jesus raising Lazarus, how Jesus, even knowing that Lazarus was dead before they even got to him, wept tears in arriving to Lazarus' tomb. That death even grieved Jesus. That Jesus was deeply troubled in response to their mourning. We have an empathetic Christ that, even in knowing He is eternal life, sees death and mourns with us.
Thank you, always, for sharing so openly, so candidly.
-jess
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