Not a skywriter, but...
I have often said that it would be nice if God would just write in the sky to tell me what to do. Wouldn't that be so cool?
Wednesday morning I am driving to work, distraught because of the failure of the marriage counseling session Katie and Tommy were supposed to have had. Things have spiraled even more, if that's possible. In respect to both of them, I will not divulge all except that things look so bleak. And so much of it seems a reflection of Denny's leaving me 22 years ago, pregnant with Laurie with three sweet wonderful kids at home. Big difference is Greg and Chris were old enough to be a huge support to me in running the house and they understood more of what was going on. Katie was only five; now I hear she thinks we were the model of a perfect amicable divorce and they can do the same. Uck, amicable hardly seems the word...heartbreaking, gut wrenching, emotionally damaging seems to fit better. Civil maybe, but not certainly not amicable.
As I drive, a black Jeep is along side of me and as it passes I see a cardinal on the license plate and the plate reads "RADIO". Okay, so it is not a skywriter but that is a pretty clear message to me. I turn off the CD I was listening to and turn on the radio to hear WMBI pastor speaking on Ezekiel chapter 18. His message is about the sins of the father passing on to the children and how this is not a bibilical truth. This chapter is filled with parenting and responsibility and how adult children answer to God for their sins. The responsibilty of a parent is to train up a child in the way they should go. It is the child's, now an adult,accountability to God that remains. Radical accountability...These words impacted me right where I needed to be impacted. I am stuggling with the aftermath of Laurie's reasons for leaving and now Katie's irrational, unbelievable departure from anything close to normal. And at least I have the unchanging word of God to hang on to.
Right now I am caring for the Michel kids, because the Monday, Friday sitter quit for a job in the industry she is studying to get in to. She quit by email last night, not good. Tommy is beside himself, finding more credit destruction, discovering more lies and still trying to be dad to these kids while he is an emotional wreck. Prayer is urgently needed for all of them. If you know anyone who is looking for a two day a week nannying job, let us know. My email address is bakpak2@comcast.net. And tonight starts winter Teen Comp at LGYC. May God reign there.
Reading this over, I can see how my tone changes. I want to know all will be well, someday for them. I want to hang on and not let Satan get a hold of my thoughts. I want to be worried about Katie's surgery today but honestly, she got glass stuck in her leg when she fell outside a bar. How do I react to that? Rely on God, again.
posted by Barb K @ 9:10 AM
11 Comments:
Definitely will keep praying....God works miracles...and with Him, nothing is impossible.
Trust and obey, Barb. God's love is truly amazing, new every morning. Believe in that love, take comfort in the prayers and more tangible love of those around you.
And to Tommy, hold on...great rewards are up to the Lord. We may not see anything like them on earth, but eternity is worth so much more.
Big hugs, all of you!
Becky
Barb....Just want you to know that I continue to pray for the entire family and especially Katie. My heart breaks for all of you but most of all for the kids.
You have been a wonderful mom and even a more incredible grandmother. The choices our children make are their own. Please don't beat yourself up over the past. You had no control over the choice Denny made. You amazed me and everyone else by your commitment to your family and your faith. God will bless you in ways you may not understand and while this is a difficult time, just believe and trust. Please know that you are in our daily prayers and thoughts.
In His Love,
Eileen G.
Oh, Barb. Wish I could be there to give you a big hug! I'll be home May 7 after graduation, so let Tommy know that I would be more than happy to help out on a regular basis once I'm back in the area. Love and prayers,
Lisa
Thanks for your comment and for thinking of me! We (mainly me) were running around and screaming with the terrible towel. Scared the crap out of the poor cats. Steelers are all heart and hard work so glad you cheered for them.
I had the weirdest dream the other night (Sat.)... I haven't made any sense of it yet... but you were driving a huge black SUV with me, Eve & some other people in it - all over the place. Funny huh? And for some reason we lived in Chicago so we could help Tommy with the kids. WEIRD dream. Anyhow.
Thanks for posting that about the "sins of the father" deal... I struggle with that fear because of my parents & worry about my future kids... and deep down I always think it must be crap... we each are responsible for ourselves and our lives and why would someone be punished for the sins of another? So, glad you heard that & posted about it.
You are so awesome the way you following promptings... like seeing the word radio by a cardinal and turning the radio on... and there it is... just what you needed. It's inspiring and I am trying to learn the same thing. (I always wish He would write it down and it would show up in my mailbox). Oh well... Love you & praying!
It strikes me as so obvious, yet so profound. When Katie ran the entire house, with the world on her shoulders, it was "business as usual." When Tommy finally steps up to the job, even if it is only because he is finally forced to, the whole world feels nothing but sympathy for him, and hatred for Katie. Ironic, considering that all he is doing no more than what she did all along, but we all feel sorry for him now. Maybe it isnt just Katie who is running from responsibility, but all of us who had an OBLIGATION according to Christ to help her long ago...but it sure is easier to simply say "Oh Tommy, you are such a model dad and husband...now, anyways." Maybe he should have done something before Katie hated life so much she left.
To Anonymous Feb 8 @ 2:32 am - Face the facts... Katie is "messed up" and the lies she's told and disaster she's left for Tommy to clean up is even MORE SCREWED UP!!! So get off your pedestal, and take Katie down with YOU.... not the rest of us!!
Dear Anonymous Feb 8 @ 2:32 AM I showed Katie this comment tonight when we had dinner together. I clearly asked her if she felt anyone hated her and she said no. I also asked if she had written this and she said no. Katie has had a heavy responsiblity with lots on the many plates she tried to keep spinning but she did not do life alone. Plates have crashed everywhere and all the same people who have always cared about Katie: Tommy, her children, her family and her friends want nothing more than to help her sweep up and start again. And starting again may mean a lot of discovery about who she is and why the patterns in her life are. Though she wants to run, fight or flight, she is here, alive and that means she is willing to keep going. Tommy has never said he was perfect but he does not deserve the accusations you offer here. If you remember in Katie's blogs she many times wrote about Tommy's willingness to see her through anything; he still feels that way. If you email me we can take this offline. Barb
Hey,
I missed your face at the volunteer celebration for the WCA. I was looking for you to give you a hug. I think about your family and know that I am asking God to continue to love you deeply and send others to do the same.
For Love,
Eric Boutelle
Dear Anonymous,
How dare you put Katie down..Katie is in trouble and thank God she has a family Barb, Tommy etc that loves her. She is getting help, she is trying..Did you ever hear about depression?? Look what she has been through..not only the past year, but in the past, wife mother, daughter, she has had alot on her plate and finally it got to be to much.. She was no longer Katie, she got lost, and she needs to find herself. Ok so maybe she is doing it differently that someone else, moving out, getting her own place, going to bars, BUT she has to find herself..she needs to find Katie again with the love of Tommy (as hard as this is on him) and her family she will do that. Time is the word here she needs time..
If you have read her blog you would see how much she loves her husband, kids, mom , etc...you would also see the pain she is in...She has crashed, I thank God that she realized that and sought help, that she went to Tommy and Barb..I thank God that they are all behind her, yes Tommy is so very hurt, Barb not knowing how to fix her daughter..But they are helping by being there supporting her...
No matter the outcome is here she has Tommy and Barb and all her friends to count on to help her get better.
You know I dont know this family just the blogs I have been reading, but think about what you wrote..Maybe if some of Lauries so called friends wouldn't have said or wrote things Laurie might still be here..I only wish that Laurie had sought help like Katie did...Laurie had the love of her life with Scott, (which people had no right to judge) she had her family , and guess what? Had Laurie went to them they would not have judged her they would have supported her, love her and help her.
Are you Jealous that no one hates her? jealous that she has a husband and family that is there for her? are you missing that in your life?
THe only one that has the right to judge anyone is God...not you...
Barb sorry, I stuck my nose in here.and if any of my comments are out of line I am sorry...But I have read your blogs for quite awhile..My son 25 was killed in a motorcyle accident and his sister was his best friend..I have watched what it has done to my daughter, the depression the hurt...but she has family and I put my own feeling and hurt aside I had to I had another child that needed help...It has been 2 years now and I have gotton my daughter through this terrible patch, and she is on her way in life and this has made her more compassionate and loving of what she has in life.
You are right Anonymous Feb 12 @ 7:49. Nobody has the right to judge except God - So get off of it!!! You have no better authority to judge anonymous than they have to judge Katie. This is Barb's blog, so get your own if you feel the need to preach... Barb, I am sorry that your blog is being used as a battleground.
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