Encouragement in Grief...
Just now do I feel ready to write about this past weekend. Just before leaving to go to Jacksonville FL I had my last official counseling appointment. Glenn thinks I am ready to go to an "As Needed" schedule. He said so many wonderful things about how Pete and I are processing and reaching out to others in our grief. I hope that is true. Felt like I should have hummed "Pomp and Circumstance" as I walked out.
Katie and I were driven to O Hare by my wonderful friend of so many years, Diane. She had met Debbie when Debbie was up here ministering to us. Diane said she would be praying and I know she did. Though we had a rented car, Debbie and a little band of her family and friends were at the Jax airport to greet us. Imagine that. In the middle of the toughest time of her life, she is there for us. Debbie had declared "Girlfriend Night" to the rest of her kids and so off 10 of her girlfriends (including her two oldest daughters) gathered at Olive Garden at 9:30 PM for one of the sweetest dinners I have ever been part of. After we each shared how we met/knew Debbie, conversation bounced everywhere and we laughed; we laughed like crazy. In fact when the waitress said what a fun group we were and what were we celebrating, we all looked at each other and not knowing whether to laugh some more or cry, Debbie said " They are here to get me through the funeral of my husband tomorrow." I am sure that waitress is still scratching her head.
Despite a flat tire on our rented car the next day, we got to Church at Argyle in plenty of time. The service honoring Don Dunlap, Debbie's husband of 30 years, father of 10 and counselor to hundreds and hundreds, was beautiful. The kids sang original songs to honor their dad, freinds spoke wonderful eulogies. Then four of Debbie's kids sang "Let My Words Be Few" and Katie and I lost it. And then it was my turn to speak...about a man I have never met but know through the amazing way God linked the Kovacevich-Boncimino-Michel clan (the Laurie people is what they call us) to the Dunlaps. I saw on the programming notes, my part was called "Encouragement in Grief". I hope I did that when I spoke from my heart on our grief journeys.
What I left with and what I am still thinking about is the importance of our friends. The new friends we made there, my long time friends, so many, Diane, Karen, Wendy, Kris, Margie Jackie, Eve, Jeanne, Cindy, Janet, Sandy, Linda, Dee, Elaine, just some of them. My young woman friends from my Student Impact small group and Laurie's small group, Laurie's friends, my two awesome sisters, my nieces...all friends. Heard the songs, "Friends Are Friends Forever" and "I Am a Friend of God" today and that says it for me.
And speaking of friends, please consider supporting my dear sister in Christ, Kris Sumey this weekend as she and her family do a 5 mile fundraising walk for AFSP, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in Philadelphia. Her team is "Laurie's Legacy" and she is walking in honor of Laur. Thanks, Kris. You are amazing. The Website address is http://www.outofthedarkness.kintera.org/ I love my friends.
posted by Barb K @ 5:30 PM
12 Comments:
Barb,
you are a continual blessing to so many. the amount of friends you have is a testament to your amazingness. thank you for beng a part of my life. asking questions. cheering me on and calling me evala!
I love you Barb!!
Hi Barb,
It's Heidi, Laurie Broscovak's niece.
I have meant to email you for a while now, but I have felt nervous. I'm not sure why I should but I have. Maybe it's because I'm not sure what to say, maybe it's because I haven't been there much and I don't want to only be keeping in contact because of a tragedy.
The other day I was driving home from work (In Germany, I know mom or Laurie has told you that I live here now)and I started to think of Laurie. (Her choice has effected me more than I could have ever thought) Then I began thinking of all the times we went up there to see all of you. Your Dad's huge train set, I remember him asking me if I washed my face everyday with soap cause I had beautiful skin and he's concluded that the only way to have beautiful skin was not to wash your face with soap everyday. :) My brother Jeremy hanging upside down underneath the staircase. In fact I remember a picture was taken of that. You taking Laurie and I to Navy Pier where I adopted a tiger.
Do you remember all those times?
And I remember little Laurie. I call her little because for one she was always smaller than me, but mainly because I remember her being shy and quiet. So sweet and beautiful and gentle. Someone that you just have a natural instict to protect. I remember her smile most of all. I don't think anyone could be in her presence for more than 5 minutes and not love her.
Her decision is so hard to understand. It has rocked me to the core. I get sad and then I think more of her and then I'm angry. Why her???
I wish I could have been to the funeral, I tried to find tickets for cheap, but it was so hard to get them. I could have made it though. I wanted to fly into Chicago from Frankfurt, but didn't want to burden anyone to come get me. But I regret not being there.
My mother called me after the service and told me it was one of the most inspiring things she has ever experienced. Laurie said that as well. I haven't heard the audio but I am planning on listening to it this weekend.
Well I just wanted to say that I think of ALL of my family daily. I love you Barb.
P.S.
How's Molly?
It is so wonderful that you all can be there for each other. :)
You were about an hour north of me. :)
Kim,
I wish we could have gotten together. That would have made the visit even more meaningful. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers often. Hug those sweet kids of yours for me.
Love in Him, still, Barb K.
As a friend of many years I can say that you have friends because you are such a great friend to others. Also the song goes Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them. As Debbi said in her response those friends with Christ have a bond between them that is strong. Thanks for being my friend. Love, Diane
Barb-
You are just amazing. The world could not do without you- for some reason I had written that in my notes for my current issues and trends class that I'm studying for today. That statement so applies to you. Thanks for being one of my dearest friends. I am so incredibly blessed to be able to call you that. I am so glad that you were able to be there for Debbie- I don't know her, but I know that she is an amazing woman who deserves a friend like you.
Love you to the core!
Lisa
barb, you and laurie among other both possess the great gift of encouragement by your spoken and unspoken words. it is compounded even more because it comes "from your heart". never stop speaking from your heart!
barb-
hey my friend. it's been awhile. sorry i always seem to fall off the planet. things are still crazy with me, but i continue to think about you constantly. keep on pluggin' along. all of this has to mean something someday, right?
-faleni
Right.
Love you, Faleni.
Barb
Barb~
I hope she enjoys her visit! Steph and Mish are coming up this way this weekend too. crazy!
I'm glad you were able to spend time with Debbi and her family and friends and be there for them, despite the circumstances. You have both been blessed to have the other.
~Kim
Barb....
You are a blessing to so many people. While I don't get a chance to see you often, I do feel that you are a friend forever. We kind of pick up right where we left off. Diane is so right...you are a good and faithful friend to so many people. It seems only natural that you would have so many friends. God Bless you Barb. Please know that I pray for you and yours daily.
In HIS Love,
Eileen G.
Eileen,
Thank you so much for your consistent prayers and words of encouragement. You're a doll and a good, true friend.
Love in Him, still...Barb
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