How amazing when God shows up!
From mid week, I know I have been feeling stressed. This time of year represents too much sadness for our family. The stress built even more yesterday when a dear one gave me the cell phone and I listened to a tirade of angry, vulgar language beyond what anyone should ever have to hear. Fear for what this person threatened was almost paralyzing...how to not build more walls, how to be a peace maker, how to know that there is protection for all involved. Prayers shot to heaven and back...
And then today. The amazing perfect timing of God. Izzy and I dawdled a bit in Target before bringing her back to Northwestern after her quick overnight visit to 921. I hugged her good by outside her dorm and began the trip back home, no anticipation of anything noteworthy. With Izzy around, I find myself sharing bits of family history that I know the journalist in her, does not miss and will carry. Maybe because I had just talked about some odd number facts about our family, 20, 30, 40 years ago that I was thinking historically, not really paying attention to where I was driving, just following the Garmin directions, I found myself at a very significant intersection.
Although the traffic light was green, traffic was being held up somewhere ahead and I had to stay exactly where I was. Looking around I realized this was the exact intersection where 24 years ago on June 7th at around 2:00 AM, the friendly policemen who had stopped our speeding car helped me into an ambulance. Off we sped to Evanston hospital where I gave birth to Laurie in just seven minutes after entering the hospital doors. As I smiled about those events, sipping a Starbucks iced coffee, something I never buy but Izzy and I had an impulse to buy the discounted 4 packs, a black Jeep goes through the intersection. What!!??? Starbucks, a black Jeep, the place where Laurie was pushing herself out of me??!! God, you are sooo awesome to give me this potent reminder of her! And then the radio. What song starts up? "I Can Only Imagine" The one song we both loved so much reminding us about the glory heaven holds!
The traffic finally starts to move and by now I am crying happy tears. But God wants to make sure I get this love fest He created for me. The next song is "There Will Be a Day" reminding me that sometime there will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, no more hurt, just hang on. And in a short distance of .8 of a mile (Garmin info.) a string of 6 black Jeeps are interspersed amid the oncoming vehicles. Since Laurie's death, black Jeeps are my little reminders of how much she loved us and we loved her. And one more song as I pull onto the expressway, "The Voice of Truth" as a red Jeep pulls up along side of my car. (Note to my Red Jeep blog friends I have never met but love.) The rest of my ride home I spied easily 15 more black Jeeps, not dark blue, not dark green, black ones. It was a ride to remember and cherish. I have used a little trick this past winter to remind me of God's love for me. (Encouraged by my counselor to sometimes rest in God's love.) When I have my fabulous carseat heater turned on, I imagine that I am sitting on God's lap and He is comforting me. I was so comforted!
How amazing when God shows up!
posted by Barb K @ 2:31 PM
8 Comments:
Isn't God amazing? I find myself still comforted by red jeeps...such an odd thing to give my soul comfort. I smile each time I see a red (or black) jeep, and every time a cardinal pops. Still praying for you each day!!
You guys are always in my prayers.
No joke, as I sit here reading, crying, wondering what to say, I look out my window, and what is there, driving slowly by, so I absolutely CANNOT miss it...a black jeep! No doubt, Mom, no doubt at all, and no need to be paralyzed. We have not been left alone yet, and will not be left alone ever. We have given it all to Him, including that phone call...and the caller. I love you much, and then much more.
I knew Laurie from my Student Impact Small Group. Since reading about your cardinal stories, whenever I see a cardinal now, I think of Laurie. Today, while I was sitting in my car waiting for it to warm up I saw a cardinal fly by. I hadn't seen a cardinal in a long while so seeing the cardinal today made me stop and think of the date. I remembered today is March 2nd. I am thankful for the reminders seeing cardinals bring to me to pray for you and your family. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Barb, I have to concur with the cardinal sightings significance. I was at a friend's house on Tuesday, we were watching the birds flock to their feeders. Most were the ordinary little grey ones (which God also loves!) - and one lone, beautifully outstanding cardinal came by. I immediately thought of you and Laurie. Cardinals are fairly rare in this area - not like in Illinois. So, I enjoyed him and prayed for you.
XOX Alice H.
You are right...the anniversary of our loved ones passing is never easy. However, there is comfort and memories evertime I see a red jeep and I think of you and your family when I see a black jeep or cardinal. My dad passed away on 2/28 after a long battle with cancer. I will forever think of him when I smell a cigar or pipe among many other things. Thankfully because of my belief and love for God, I know that I will see my loved ones again someday. Praying for you and your family always.
God Bless you Barb
I have to comment because Laurie hit my heart in a special way and this should be shared...
Back in 1990, I moved 3 houses down from Laurie in Buffalo Grove. I was considered "the new kid" at school and pretty much didn't fit in (and this was first grade). Laurie was really the only kid that opened up to me and took the time out to get to know me. We would play in her backyard, sit outside on the front stoop and just be kids. Even though she was a year older than me, that didn't matter to her. She always would take time out and we'd just talk and play...ahh the easy years!
Growing up, she stayed the same but we lost touch during High School and I eventually moved out of BG and life went on.
The day I heard she went missing and eventually the horrible news was revealed, my heart went immediately to my stomach. I battled depression and a suicide attempt myself. To hear someone that was so close to me in the past go through seemingly the same thing, it was just all too surreal. If I only had the chance to stay friends with her and share our thoughts in the time of need. I've since learned to cope with my illness but the thoughts never go away...what if?
Laurie's legacy will never be forgotten nor ignored. You inspire us all, Laurie. I, for one, thank you!
God Bless the Boncimino family.
Post a Comment
<< Home