Faith, Hope, Love, but the greatest of these is love...

I know I have been getting more and more depressed and depression is not something I am prone to. I can feel the darkness start to envelope me. Self talk doesn't do it. What is going on? I am trying to "fix" stuff that I have no control over. I am in God's waiting room and I want to hear my name called...

Mother's Day is approaching and I miss my mom. I miss my sister, Lin. I miss my Laurie. I hear from both my sisters, Gail and JoAnne, and we are all having a harder time this year missing Mom than last year. The saga surrounding the Michel family, especially Katie, has whipped me. My heart is just not where it should be. God, call my name...

And He does, again. I get that Mother's Day ecard reminding me of 1Corinthians 13:13 . "There are three things that will endure--faith, hope and love--and the greatest of these is love." Today I have a renewed sense of faith. I know He sees this and He has the answers, not me. And hope. Putting together Hope boxes with Denver and Maya yesterday to be sent to kids in Africa, Denver says, "Grandma, can we go to Africa so I can give this to a boy in Africa who doesn't have a mom or dad?" I see in Denver that he, even in his own pain, wants to give hope to someone else.

And love...while our house is filling with family to celebrate Mother's Day, I have to go into the laundry room for something. I glance up to the shelf and there sits Laurie's gift to me from years ago...a yellow wooden tulip where she has lettered on the bottom "#1 Mom I love you. La"
Yes, the greatest of these IS love. God called me into the exam room. I am loved. The darkness is lifting.